And is best served with side of FAFO (fluff around and find out).
First of all, my sincerest apologies for my extended and very much inexcusable absence. I am fine and at an amazing 6 years old, I still generally choose to not cover my poops when I go toilet. Especially after those fancy seafood dishes the authorities prepare for my personal nutrition. The authorities refer my bathroom as “ripe” sometimes . I am unsure what that means as I cannot eat my bathroom. Or can I? That is an investigation that will happen later…
So how is everyone? How have you been? Miss me? Whatcha been up to? Heh.. I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to. Freya.
Freya, Freya, Freya, Freya… Everywhere I go. Everything I do. That damn cat is right there. She cannot be left alone. I’m not sure how the authorities deal with it. She’s loud, she’s freaking huge, and well, I’ll give it to her that she is very stinkin’ cute. She’s going to grow up to be a beautiful cat. But she’s still going to be an idiot in my book. She lacks the necessary skills to be a proper cat. I do not like her as she also terrorizes me for no reason and she refuses to let Pima, my senior and eldest member of the clan, eat or use the toilet in peace. Freya is most taxing to us both.
So, I guess you are expecting some explanation of what’s going on in the photo. Well, I’ll tell you. This is my life now. Barely tolerable at best. She will not leave me alone. I will give her plenty of space and bam! She somehow ends up all over me and refuses to go away until I slap the $hit out of her repeatedly. It seems to take an average of 3 light swaapps and a follow of 2 heavy fwop fwops and she will remove herself from the equation for a good bit of time. The downside of that is that she will go crying to the authorities, especially my catdad. She will always initiate her apology to him by immediately engaging in a game of fetch. Yes, fetch. I do not know why he tolerates such behavior. Amateur…. pssht.
I understand the fact that she is still young, but even at her present age of almost 3 years old, she should have more act right. I overhear the short haired authority refer to her sometimes is “chonker” or “thud”. This name calling irritates the long haired authority. The keeper of the snuggly blankets. My hero. However….. she only feeds us from the crunchy menu. And one time especially with a jalapeno flavored potato chip. That event put an abrupt end of me ever enjoying crrronching on the potato chips ever again. I have exiled them forever. They are dead to me now.
Anyways, that’s what I’ve been up to. I have not been ignoring any of you that I can promise. That abomination of a cat Freya has starting using the computer with the authorities. She has taken over. She will sit in catdaddy’s lap and watch the computer with him. She usually presses all of the buttons on it and it makes the authorities laugh. If the mental beatings continue, I will take action against them as well. The unearthed poops are just the beginning. I do not understand nor approve anyone’s behavior that is under this roof currently..
I will debrief more of my life events very soon as I have collected quite a library of them because of reasons. Stay tuned!
PS. I also did not approve of the above photo to be taken or published. I’m starting to hate it here.
