I apoligize to you all as the authorites had the audacity to ground me for a short while and take away all of my priveledges. I know not(knot) what reasoning was behind this. I enjoy sitting on the table and knocking things off of the kitchen counter. I also enjoy chasing my sister at a high rate of speed around the house very early in the morning hours as I am a cat. This is what we do. I do not apologize however to the authorities as they will be dealt with soon enough for the imposed prison sentence. #fakerehabilitation
During the previously mentioned timeframe, I have learned many new things. There is a screen of motion of which the authorities stare at on occasion. They trap people inside of this motion box and they cannot get out. This makes the authorities laugh at them.
It is confusing as I cannot be rubbed by the box people nor receive other forms of attention from them of which I feel I deserve. Sometimes they put animals inside of the screen and I cannot talk to them. The box people also feel strange to the touch as they are flat and sometimes instantly change into random inanimate objects just like the ones inside the shiny chilly house just down the hall. Sometimes when it thunders inside of the shiny house, it rains down magic crystals that I immediatly consume. They generally are small, have no color, and taste pointy. The authorities put them into their portable waterbowls. I would like my own portable water bowl. I feel I have at least earned that much dignity.
Being the long daylight duration, my Warden’s (and I use that term loosely) seem to have been preparing food outside of the prison gate and I do not like it. When they do so, I am unable to watch them prepare the delightful feedtime treats. This irritates me in ways I cannot describe. But…. recently they have allowed me to participate during their feeding time. It is utterly magnificant. Mind blowing. There are so many foods here. How do they know which to eat? How do they know what is not for consumption? Wait, I believe I have unfortunately stumbled onto a do not eat. Yes. Zero stars. Protest hairball inbound. *loud human noises*
After some protest theatrics, I feel as the authorities know their place and it is far below mine. It appears the dark haired authority is presenting a peace offering to me. What is this radiant object that smells of herbs and burning trees? I would likely enjoy a small sample of this unusual object, but am unsure of how one goes about harvesting this nectar of the gods. Oh well, only the worthy know what ol’ Jack Burton would do at a time like this……
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